An Effort of Recruitment
There are only three conceivable means by which this missive could have come into your possession...
Dear Sir or Madam,
There are only three conceivable means by which this missive could have come into your possession.
The first, and least likely, is that you found it lying on the ground, caught along the bottom of a fence. Should this be the case, I would urge you to stop reading now and have a look around, for there is quite a good chance one of my agents is nearby, searching frantically for it, or deceased.
This brings me to the second possibility, you may have pried this letter from someone’s cold, dead hands. Now, if you killed the courier, I would like to be the first to congratulate you: the operative you’ve just overcome was among the best trained in my employ. I will happily double your current salary if you would do me the honor of joining my ensemble. If you wish to respond favorably, I’m sure you possess the necessary skill to find us. Rest assured if you wish to decline, we are more than capable of finding you. If, however, you were not involved in the assassination of my man, stay where you are; someone will be there shortly to take control of the situation.
Finally, you may have just found this communication in your inner coat pocket. Consequently, if you happened to notice who put it there, I should hope you managed to get a good look at him, as I have just recently come to question his effectiveness. Otherwise, my felicitations to you! You possess a certain potential which I would very much like to see you refine. Join me on this great adventure, and I can guarantee that you will find it rewarding - pecuniarily, empirically, voluptuarily…
The hand of illumination reaches out, my friend; take hold. Please place your written response in your coat pocket. I very much look forward to making your acquaintance.
Tendentiously yours,
deTrop